Spanking can only be seen as a temporary solution to present problems. It usually leaves a child wondering, what he should do differently so he doesn’t get hit again. Spankings are seldomly followed by instructions on what the child needs to stop doing. It is generally a release of the parent’s or guardian’s frustration directed toward the child. It teaches a child to comply with fear instead of having a sense of what is right or wrong. It makes children see violence as an acceptable way to solve their problems.
Children who are often spanked, have a great risk of having low self‐esteem, being aggressive, becoming a liar, a cheat, depressed, and a bully. Spanking showcases an example that it is okay to hit when someone is upset or angry. In this article are some alternatives to spanking that you might find helpful.
1. Give choices
A choice gives some sort of control back to the child on the parents’ terms. Parents who are good at providing choices will have children who are more compliant and very good at making decisions!
2. Take a timeout
As a parent, you are at liberty to walk away. It is perfectly fine to feel too upset to deal with the situation at the moment. You can talk about it later. Placing a child in time-out can as well be a much better alternative.
If done correctly, time-out makes kids learn how to calm themselves down, which is a useful and important life skill. But for a time-out to be effective, kids need to spend plenty of positive time with their parents. Then, when they’re removed from a situation, they start to learn to self-regulate, express their emotions appropriately and make different choices in the future.
3. Get someone else involved
If you feel so angry with your child that has got you so angry, that you may not be in control at that particular time, then you can ask someone else to help you out. Someone who is not as intimately involved in the situation. This reduces the tendencies that you will strike your child.
4. Teach them what you expect of them
Instead of punishing them for their misconduct, teach them what they can do differently. Tell them what to do if there will be the next time.
5. Recognise their positive behaviours
So, when heeded to your corrections and start to do things the right way, tell them how much you appreciate that! Parents oftentimes only notice their children’s misbehaviours and misconduct and ignore the things they do well.
6. Logical Consequences
It is a great way to help kids who are battling with certain behavior problems. Logical consequences are specifically tied to misbehavior. For example, if any of your children doesn’t do his/her homework, deny such a child a bedtime snack. Or if they refuse to pick up their toys, don’t allow them to play with them for the rest of the day. Linking these consequences directly to the behaviour problem helps kids to see that their choices have direct consequences.
Let them know when the privileges can be earned back. Usually, a day is enough to teach your child to learn from their mistake.
7. Natural Consequences
Natural consequences give children the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes. For example, if your child says they are not going to wear a cardigan, let them go outside and get cold— that is if it’s safe to do so. Use natural consequences for your child to learn from their own mistake. Watch the situation closely to ensure that your child won’t experience any real danger.
8. Pick your battles
Pick the top five things that you just can’t tolerate in your child and focus on disciplining them just for those five behaviors. This lets your child know what you consider important and you don’t come across as if you are disciplining them for every little infraction.
9. Set limits
Instead of telling your children what to do try telling your children what you are going to do or allow instead of telling them what to do.
10. State your request in the positive
Have you had the chance to notice how we usually make a request or give out directives in the negative? The first thing your child hears… what they can’t have. Changing the structure of how you make requests will improve your child’s cooperation. State things in the positive by telling them what they can have or what you will allow. They are not likely to argue when you tell them what they can have or what you will allow.
11. Ignoring Mild Misbehavior
Selective ignoring can be more effective than spanking. However, this doesn’t mean you should overlook your child’s inappropriateness. But you can ignore the behavior.
When your child tries to seek attention by whining or complaining, don’t give it to them. Pretend you can’t hear them and don’t respond. Then, when they ask nicely or behave, you can return your attention to them. As time goes on they will learn that polite behavior is the best way to get their needs met.
12. Teaching New Skills
Spanking doesn’t teach your child how to behave better. Spanking your child because they threw a temper tantrum won’t teach them how to calm down the next time they are upset.
Kids benefit from learning problem-solving skills, their emotions, and compromise. When parents teach these skills, it can very much reduce behavior problems. Make sure to use discipline that is aimed at teaching, not punishing.
13. Rewards for Good Behaviour
Instead of spanking your child for misbehaviour, reward him for good behaviour. For example, if your child fights with their siblings, bring up a reward system to motivate them to get along better.
Providing an incentive to behave changes misbehaviour fast. Rewards help kids to focus on what they need to do to have their privileges, rather than emphasize the bad behavior they’re supposed to avoid.
Make it a habit to always praise for Good Behavior. By so doing, you are discouraging behavioral problems by catching your child being good. point it their good deeds and give a good remark that will encourage them to do more. And remember, it isn’t about you or what’s convenient for you but about what’s best for the kids.