How To Discover When People Lie And Make Them Tell The Truth

– Decipher the truth like a CIA agent

Most people if not all lie or withhold the truth often than not. We lie to ourselves and others. Lying has been a regular part of human existence for so long. Detecting the signs of lying, and finding new ways to get people to tell the brutal, honest truth and deal with it more effectively and positively requires some level of training.

In this article, we will love to show you How to Persuade Anyone To Tell The Truth, the CIA style. Of course, they are among the most well-known experts in recognising deceptive behaviour and extracting an honest answer from absolutely anyone without resorting to torture.

You can adapt these skills to almost any situation. Whether it’s speaking with your children about who stole the meat, or your partners about suspicions of extramarital affairs, or your employees about inadequacies in the books. You will be able to apply the principles of the step-by-step guide to all aspects of your lives. Without any further ado, let jump straight into it.

 Why do people lie?

Understanding why people lie will also help you understand how to help people overcome their insecurities or fear of telling the truth.

Here are the top reasons why people lie.

1. Because They Fear The Negative Penalties Of Disclosing The Truth. Relatable right? I mean who likes negative repercussions? You must have noticed that lies often involve an act of wrongdoing the person would rather hide. Sequel to this, there is a tendency that people might lie, driven by a fear of what will happen if the truth is revealed.
2. Because They Want Others To Believe Something About Them That Isn’t True. It is also common for people to misrepresent themselves trying to impress others. This is an attribute of many con artists. Could come across in situations where a job candidate embellishes his resume, or someone uploading false content about their physical attributes on social media. In essence, people tell lies in other to enhance the positive image that others have of them.
3. Because They Want To Avoid Hurting Someone’s Feelings. Have you ever been in a situation where you will prefer to rather lie than give someone an honest opinion or advice they seek about a matter? You are not alone. We find ourselves telling these benevolent “social lies” quite readily as we navigate our way through the day.

So, how can we spot a lie quickly and easily? What are the signs?

There are 5 categories of deceptive behaviour that you need to look for:

1. Evasion: The simplest definition of this, is to think of this behaviour as a linguistic act of concealment. That is when the person fails to answer the question.
2. Persuasion: This is a situation where an individual tries to convince you of something, rather than giving the information you’re asking for. Example: invoking religion.
3. Manipulation: You would notice the individual trying to disrupt your game plan. An insight to this is the individual’s failure to understand a simple question.
4. Aggression: Other times when a person feels cornered, there is every tendency and urge to want to lash out to get you to back off. Think of a time your credibility was challenged trying to get the truth out of someone.
5. Reaction: These are natural biological behaviours that are triggered by the autonomic nervous system. These reactions come up anytime your question creates a spike in anxiety. A good example is the Hand-to-face activities.

Your job at discerning is to identify a cluster of two or more deceptive behaviours, which can be any of those mentioned above, verbal or nonverbal. Here is a model, the person has to exhibit the first deceptive behaviour within five seconds after the stimulus that is your question. Then, you can reliably conclude that the behaviour was prompted by your question.

What are the key steps to take to get the truth out of anyone?

There are 9 key CIA steps to getting at the truth:

1. Adopt A Sincere, Understanding Tone And Demeanour. Ever of the say that a guilty person seeks only to be understood? To be understood gives the impression of being forgiven. Avoid being confrontational or belligerent. Let the attitude you project be engaged, calm, empathetic, with no atom of insincerity. Be convincing by slowing your rate of speech and lowering your voice a bit.
2. Help The Person Rationalise His Actions. The aim is to help him focus less on long-term consequences but more focused on the reasons you’re giving him to see telling the truth as the best option. One way you can help rationalise his actions or behaviour is by reminding him, of the fact that as humans, it’s okay to make mistakes. By doing this, you are weakening his resolve to wanting to lie.
3. Minimise The Seriousness Of The Situation. Since people fear being punished, downplay the consequential nature of the matter about which the individual is withholding the truth. Once successful, they would be more comfortable sharing the information you are seeking. Say something like, “It’s important that we not blow this out of proportion,” they would think more of you as reasonable and be willing to be in alliance with you instead of being their adversary.
4. Socialise The Situation So The Person Doesn’t Feel So Alone. Societal norms and standards bring about some form of anxiety in people especially when they have the impression that others might think of them as an outcast if they admit to wrongdoings. Such an individual will awfully reluctant to admit it. But if you tell them that men and women in all walks of life indulge in such, they get comfortable and feel less alienated.
5. Assure The Individual That There Is Plenty Of Blame To Go Around. It’s always easier for someone to own up if the finger isn’t being pointed at him alone. Altruistically distribute the blame wherever you can convincingly do so. Easily let him know how the society, the system, management, bad apples are all aids in causing the bad thing to happen.
6. Don’t Allow The Person To Voice A Lie Or A Denial. Another thing you should do is to prevent the denial mode. The more avenue he gets to articulate the lie, the more psychologically reinforced he’ll become. And in that mode, it is difficult to reverse himself and tell you the truth. No one loves to be labelled a liar.
7. Take Advantage Of The Power Of Repetition. Human nature is such that the more frequently we hear something, the more likely we are to believe it, or to at least be open to the possibility. So be the one doing the talking since you don’t want to give the chance for denial mode. Keep up the stimulus by rearticulating the rationalization, minimization, socialisation, and projection of blame that will help the person, see things your way.
8. Use Implicit Rather Than Explicit Language. Be implicit in your language use, makes it easier for the person to buy into what you’re saying. For example, telling the person you want to help get the matter “resolved,” takes his mind to a place of safety whereas to you, “resolved” might mean a conviction. In the same manner, don’t use words that might connote negative consequences. e.g. don’t say stole rather use took. You can say he gained an unfair advantage rather than cheated. Saying “inappropriately touched” rather than “assaulted” the woman is implicit enough to get the person more comfortable.
9. Never Sit In Judgment. Always put it at the back of your mind that your ultimate goal is to get the truth, not to stand in the roles of judge and jury. If the individual can pick up an iota of judgment in your approach, your goal will be considerably more difficult to accomplish. So don’t chastise or reprimand in any way. Inspire confidence, but not as an arbiter of his fate.

Closing Remarks

When next you come across an individual that seems deceitful and appears to be giving a false account of an event, try out the tools in this article to discern whether the information are trust worthy. If not, press further to determine the truth by applying the top nine CIA steps at extracting the truth from absolutely anyone. Keyword “anyone”.