Sexual Role Play: Sanity and insanity of BDSM

Sanity and insanity of BDSM

BDSM is a term describing a type of sexual practice that involves dominance, submission, and control. Typically, one partner takes on a more dominant role during sex, while the other submits.

A breakdown of the acronym BDSM is as follows;

  • Bondage: usually, a partner’s freedom is restrained, using tools like ropes, handcuffs, etc.
  • Discipline: Explains rules and punishments agreed upon by partners for engagement.
  • Dominance: Simply the act of showing dominance over a physical partner, either during sex or outside of the bedroom.
  • Submission: The act of showing submission to the dominant partner’s actions and wishes.
  • Sadism and Masochism (or Sadomasochism): Describes the pleasures partners get from either inflicting pain (sadism) or receiving pain (masochism), either physical or emotional.

With all that has been said so far, one will wonder the sanity of this act. The American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatising kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013.

In their guidelines saw a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviours outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and others who coerce others to engage in those behaviours without consent.

However, there are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme.

  • Sexual sadism disorder; involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure.
  • Sexual masochism disorder; involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement.
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What makes the difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, and also, BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function.

Moreover, most of the available evidence shows that the majority of BDSM enthusiasts are mentally healthy and typical in every respect except that they find traditional (“vanilla”) intimacy unfulfilling and want something more intense.

Sexual Role Play Sanity and insanity of BDSMThe healthy practice of BDSM sex in a relationship can help to foster a form of release, an exploration of trust, or a space to act out fantasies of submission, vulnerability, and control. A few elements come to play while practicing BDSM. Most important part is the act of consent.

Partners should always make sure everyone gives enthusiastic consent and outlines clear boundaries without which the act should not proceed or be undertaken. When setting boundaries, partners can draft out a formal contract, a verbal agreement, or a more casual conversation about desires and limits depending on the nature of the relationship.

Indicating limits is important due to the intense nature of some BDSM scenes. One common way of indicating limits is the use of a safe word. When a partner becomes uncomfortable and can no bear with the experience, they can speak the safe word to stop the current act or halt the sex altogether.

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Switching positions is also an element of the act based on the partner’s agreement. A “switch” is an individual who shifts between the dominant and submissive roles, depending on the partner and the context.

This dominant and submissive dynamic is often referred to as a top or bottom dynamic. While the dominant partner or top is typically the one taking control in spanking, bonding, whipping, or other sexual scenarios. The submissive may also maintain control by demanding the top perform certain roles or insist on switching roles.

Finally, partners participating in BDSM sex can practice what is known as aftercare. This is when partners take care of one another after a scene, including cuddling, hydrating, bathing together, or another calming activity.

Other times, it can also include a discussion about what worked, what didn’t, and how each partner is feeling. This post-sex debriefing can help protect all participants physically, mentally, and emotionally.

For beginners looking forward to exploring their fantasies through BDSM sex. Going all the way might be dangerous. Therefore it is advisable to start up with some “light” BDSM practices to avoid fatalities.

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These can include Hair pulling, Handcuffs, Scarf or tie bondage, Blindfolds, Light spanking, and Role-playing.

It is also important to note that the legality behind BDSM is poorly developed and unclear.

Legally, for instance, you cannot consent to be tortured or assaulted. And, to the outside eye, some BDSM activities can appear to fall into that category.

So, for example, if police raid a BDSM event and see activities that they object to, they can charge the participants even if there is consent.

While it’s unlikely you’ll encounter a problem, especially in the confines of your own home. It’s good to know the lay of the land, legally.

And there are special cases where people need to know how this kind of information can be used in court, e.g. custody battles.

To round up, communicating your desires with your partner is key. The whole dynamics of BDSM include a wide range of sexual activities, which gives room for creativity in partners’ approaches. Being honest with your partner about what you’re looking for and what you’re comfortable with is the whole essence of BDSM.